Paradise Lost Abridged! Book One, Part Three: If You Want Jam, Make It Yourself

Paradise Lost Abridged! Book One, Part Two: On The Fiery Lake

Paradise Lost Abridged! Book One, Part One: Prologue

Introducing the new project from Buried Alive. "Paradise Lost," the greatest epic poem ever composed in the English Language gets a make-over and becomes a four panel comic strip.

"I think literature will be angry with you for this, Will"
"Awesome!"

Interlude: A Dickerdoodle Comic

Yeah, so this was my submission to the Penny Arcade "Dickerdoodle09" contest.  Now, I believe that the contest asked for "pictures" of "people" eating/making/enjoying "dick shaped cookies," which I interpreted to mean "a comic" of "cartoons" eating/making/enjoying "dick shaped cartoon cookies."  I personally think it should win just based on that fact that it rocks.  Also it took a long time to make.  Honestly though, I don't really care if it wins or not (though its rejection might lead to google map searches of the houses of both members of Penny Arcade). I just wanted to send something they've probably never gotten before in a photo contest ... since it's not a photo.

Note: This isn't a numbered strip because it will never be published in Ka Leo and is an apocrypha of sorts.

The 21st Century Grimoire

More thoughts on Sarah Palin's "Going Rogue."

A hint on how I feel about it: a "Grimoire" is a book of magic used by witches to summon hell-spawn and the like. Imagine your chemistry textbook, but replace "mix in Sodium Hydroxide and stir until solution turns blue" with "mix in twelve pints of The Blood of Innocents until cauldron simmers and smells of roasting hair follicles."  Seriously; that book is evil ... and really, really funny.

"Double, double, toil and trouble,
Fire burn and Cauldron bubble."

94. Gratz!

Ah yes, the end of a semester brings such mixed feelings.  Relief at the thought of a few weeks sans studying, dread at the thought of Holiday hours at your part-time retail job, more dread at the thought of all the money you don't have for all the gifts you must purchase for not you.  And of course, for all you lucky graduates, that feeling of "holy crackle pops, what the heck am I supposed to do now?"  Well good luck with that.  Us BFA hopefuls still have oodles of credits to take.  Thank God.

93. Operation: Christmas Dangerous

92. Skynet: At Least It's Not Rail

Okay, so this is another one for the students of UH Manoa.  ASUH organized a rally at the state capitol earlier today to protest budget cuts to UH Manoa (which are disproportionately higher than the cuts to the rest of the UH system like the community colleges) despite the fact that Manoa is the only campus which showed an increase in enrollment from the previous fall.
Naturally I would have gone to this rally, but I was in class... along with almost every other student... actually the Tuesday before finals week in the middle of the day is probably one of the worst times to hold a rally downtown and this showed when only, like, fifty kids showed up (or so I'm told).  Good for Mark Ing (ASUH President) for trying, but really? Too little, WAY too late.
Oh yeah, I guess some of you might not be familiar with "Rail."  It's interesting when more people in Hawai'i know what "Skynet" is, than "Rail."  And by interesting I mean depressing.  Anyway, "Rail" is the nickname for the Honolulu High-Capacity Transit Corridor project which would create an above ground mass transit system built on steel rails that (in it's initial stage) would link the Honolulu International Airport to Ala Moana.  I actually support rail (though again, it's too little, WAY too late), but the project has come under a great deal of fire for it's expense and the question of whether it's really necessary (although most commuters will tell you that it should have happened decades ago when the rest of the country did it and when we would have had federal funding to help).  There's a lot of people who seem to think rail is literally the devil.  So I guess this comic is sort of for them too.
Enjoy.
-Will

91. Warning: May Contain Weapons

Ah, late-night Safeway runs.  Out of such an imbecilic idea must spawn numerous other imbecilic ideas.  In fact, you inspire so many imbecilic ideas that one of them is sure to be coherent enough for a comic!

90. Continuity Issues

Hey kids, Harold, Zane and the rest of the "Morons" are back to their usual, non-centipedal shenanigans.
Btw, Harold is, in fact, wearing the "Photoshop Hero" T-shirt from Penny Arcade.  I'm hoping that by acknowledging it's origins here, they won't ask me to take it down.  I've emailed them to make sure it's cool, but to my complete shock, I've received no reply.
Jeeez, you'd think they were famous or something! What d'they have their own flippin' expo or something like th - oh... what's that? PAX is a Penny Arcade Expo? Well I'll be a fruit-fucker prime!

The End

Well that raps up the centipede chronicles. I'm fresh out of material. Thanks for reading. I hope you laughed, cried, raged, sighed and became severely dehydrated just as much as I did from this experience.

What's that? You're sad that it's all over? Well don't sob too much because...

"The Sun Also Shines on the Moronic" will remain in full color for as long as my WACOM holds out!

So... you know... that's something, then, in't?

89. In Our Darkest Nightmares: Aftermath

88. In Our Darkest Nightmares part 5

87. In Our Darkest Nightmares part 4

86. In Our Darkest Nightmares Part 3

Going Rogue

So "Going Rogue" came out today. Basically Sarah Palin is going to make millions off of a book she wrote in like, half a year.
I've read a few excerpts and have investigated the table of contents and the index, which actually told me a lot about the book.  The quoted passage is actually from the book.  You might think the ellipses are to edit out the good parts and make her look bad, but in reality, the whole thing is bad. I merely edited out the part that wasn't as hilariously awful.
And yes, Sarah is dressed as Morrigan. I personally don't really care who thinks she's attractive or not; the point is that she's a succubus sent from hell to annihilate the English language (amongst other things).

85. In Our Darkest Nightmares, Part 2

84. In Our Darkest Nightmares part 1

And so it begins...

Let the Centipede-Apocalypse Begin

Breaking News! The centipede chronicles, titled "In Our Darkest Nightmares," will be produced in full color!

Online Release Date for the first strip: Friday, November 13.
Print Release Date: Monday, November 16.

Aren't you glad you read online?

83. The Consequences Are Dire

The Jumbotron

Ka Leo News: The Return of the Sh@t

Any of you who have been familiar with Ka Leo over the past two semesters will remember the work of Toby Idian.  Dirty, simple, devious and hilarious, his little "cyanide and happiness" reminiscent stick figure buffoons make a comeback this Thursday in the Comics section.

82. The Pep Rally

Holy, sweet, golly moses! It's hyphens, Batman!

If you like centipedes or centipede-related shenanigans, or great discounts on centipedal toys, hats, shirts and negative-polarity, graviton death-rays, or just some good old-fashioned centipede in the face and / or brain-stem, November will be a great month for you.

Seriously.

You'll love it. Read everyday. Even when the blog isn't updated. You read that shit again and again until it is. 

81. The Homecoming Strip

80. Dividing By Not Zero

Spoof on fellow Ka Leo comicker Justin Koelkebeck's strip called "Dividing By Zero" in which numerous rational impossibilities take place.  Obviously, Roman's can't divide by zero as they have no numerical representation of the concept of nothing i.e. there is no zero in roman numerals :D

79. An Epiphanic Moment

Bowser v. Midbus

An info graphic to accompany a video game review in Ka Leo.  The game is Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story for Nintendo DS.

Edit (April 30th, 2010): This comic won first place in the Board of Publications Excellence in Journalism Award for the 2009-2010 academic year in the Graphic Illustration category.

Halloween Issue Cover Art

Only the top half was used, which was fine, 'cause i didn't really like the bottom half anyway.

The Curse of Living Death - Page 1

Page one of my contribution to Ka Leo's Halloween Comics Special Issue.

The Curse of Living Death - Page 2

The Second Page of my contribution to Ka Leo's Halloween Comics Special Issue.

78. A Matter of Great Importance

77. Some Users May Experience Delusions of Grandeur

The Beatles: Rock Band

Limbaugh-the-Hut

76. Non-Universal Ethics

75. Godelian Ghosts

Godel's incompleteness theorem states that for any axiomatic system that is consistent, there are true propositions about the natural numbers described thereby, that cannot be proven from the axioms, but are, nonetheless, true.  Godel's ideas were never meant to be perverted and disfigured by a comic artist: oh well.

Solipsism is a skeptical hypothesis that basically states that anything outside one's own mind is unjustified and may not exist at all.

74. Sir Slanderson

The Dubbleyuh

73. Hard Times in Feudledom

Another reference to the UH administration's "Last Best Final Offer:" a shitty contract deal that would mean torture and certain death for most of the faculty members.

Delays, Delays

UH Manoa Volleyball Head Coach, David Shoji, is counting down to his one-thousandth career victory.  Also he is famous for rarely looking happy while on the court (think Joe Torre).

UHPA Rejects LBFO

The University of Hawai'i Professional Assembly voted to reject the "Last, Best, Final Offer" proposed by the UH administration by over 80% of the vote.  Greenwood wrote an email to he assembly in which she voiced her "disappointed" opinion.  Not only was this the first offer given to faculty members, but it certainly is not the best offer.

72. We No Need No Stinkin' Facts!

Chain, Chain, Chaaaain...

Word

The Moderates

71. Never Trust A Bestselling Author

The Patriots

Glenn "Slanderson" Beck, Rush "I Hate You" Limbaugh and Michelle "The Parrot" Malkin give their heinously hypocritical view-points on the recent Olympic Games bid.

70. Vampires and College Students: Constantly Hungry

69. The Last Bean or: I hate Mieces to Pieces

68. Porcinator 3: This Time It's Not Porcinator 2

67. I Wish There Really Was Only One

66. Truth Bites

65. Chez Capulet

Candle-John: see, nothing happ-

Part 3 in the Boehnerific slug-fest.